Memories

ryoushin @ 2005-05-03T01:21:00

2005-05-03T05:21:25Z

meh....weird day

Mom came home from Toledo and dad was sleeping on the couch...she got pissed and offended that he slept on the couch

I told my mother "While you were out having fun for 3 days he was here working doubles and working hard"

she said "When he goes away in june for 5 days thats what I will be doing"

I said "Then when he gets home you will be tired as well, possibly sleeping on the couch"

She didnt believe me, she didnt listen to me...I dont care, I never do anymore. I just dont understand why my parents cant get along anymore, its hard seeing them like this when all my life I never really saw them to begin with, but when I did, they were always happy...

Ever since this fucking restraunt opened, reguardless of intentions reguardless of what it will benifit me of, it ruined my home life and it ruined my family...selfish or not fuck you...I lost the most important thing to myself and its never going to be the same

I only make it worst by crashing the car even though I didnt mean to. Things are so obscene and weird I cant take it. One day is awesome, everyone is happy, and I enjoy myself for one day, and its fun. Then the next day rolls around, it just seems like everytime I feel like my life got together, something ruins it.

I had a good time, going to Lifeskills in akron everyday, driving there, then driving to work, seeing my friends sometimes. Freedom, all the time...Some woman had to be late for work that day, I had to be late for work, and I had to not see her and she had to hit me...There goes my happiness for now. Stuck without a car and I HATE it more than anything when people drive me around because I feel like a worthless peice of trash sittinf in a seat being told where im going and it drives me nuts.

MY father and mother, arent happy anymore, my two sisters I dont see enough to tell. Even my dog is deressed because of the way we are all leaving him home, I feel bad for him. Everytime I pass the fucking restraunt I want it to burn to the ground, but that wouldnt make my family back to the way it was, it is never coming back and I just need to accept that. It is hard to accept that when you see the only thing you ever cherished in your life fall apart right in front of your eyes...and no matter how hard you tried to keep it together, something just RIPS it out of your reach and teases you that it wont ever be the same from when it was in your reach

Oh well, just have to keep on living one day at a time and keep on living. Humans are such amazing creatures to be able to handle everything, and get up the next day and do it all again.

I hate this world sometimes, but most of the time, im so happy I am living here and experiencing life through my eyes and my mind...looking at other people, like my friends and my family, well, whats left of it, and just everything, its amazing

Ok, im done...bye

Wow, im updating

2005-04-15T04:37:07Z

Yeah yeah, look at me everyone...im updating, isnt this a joyous day for all of us

Meh, didnt want to because my day was shitty and all im going to do is rant about how bad my day was and im going to sound emo *shivers* so if you dont want to read on, then this is your chance

Well, the day started off with my mom yelling at me like always to get out of bed then I go to school, boring as school is, then I get home and my father doesnt say hi to me. Mind you my father is my life idle, I love him more then anyone and he is like my god. He just yells at me anymore because he is so stressed with the restraunt. I probably get to see him once a week now, because hes either sleeping, gone, or on the phone and cant talk to me

Work was ok, went over to the other restraunt for an hour and helped clean up because they were having trouble, but its all good

One friend I want to help the most I cant because they *wont insert gender* are having problems out of my control which I wish I could put into control, but that is just making me sad and on top of the day it was just stressful

Other then that my life has been like everyone elses...school, work, get paid, blow it, start the next week over the same way.

ok, im done...bye

philosophy

2005-01-13T17:48:47Z

well, im in a philisophical mood and im listening to vermilion part 2..I love this song

anyway, here it goes

This earth was created to be here for all humans, and all objects of life. As a desk or a table, they are all equally necessary. Humans are no better then a desk or a table, we all have equal exsistance and we all have equal necessities in life.

This earth was also created for the soul purpose of us to learn and become more wise beyond our years. Some ass holes may think they know everything, but really they are new to life and they dont understand the concept of life and how beautiful it can be.

for people who are depressed, or people who have bad parents...they all chose to have that before they were born so they could learn from it and experience it just to see how it would be, and most of them do a really good job handling it.

The human emotions were created in such a complex way and whoever created this place created that for a reason, and that is for us to never find all human emotion because emotion for a human is limitless, emotion for a being on this earth is limitless. Existence as we know it has no limit on the possibilities of what can happen. Even if the world were to blow up or disappear, humans would always be living, somewhere that isnt in existance except for when we think of that thing, it then exists.

That is part of my philosophy and part of Toms, we had a long talk last night about philosophy and about god and how we thought of god. I wont explain that because I know that people are religious and I dont want to offend them, if you wish to know...just ask

wowness

2005-01-06T19:12:07Z

today is a god damned snowday...did our super intendent up and die on us? we NEVER have school off...oh well, school or no school, I still have to work....now I know how my daddy and mommy feel

I get to take my drivers exam SATURDAY....get up at 8:00...eat...take the exam, go home for like 2 hours and then go to work from 1:00 until like 10:00...then I get to maybe go out and go to kevins house for a LAN partay?

yeah...brian is going to boarding school and that sucks major scrotums because he is our guitarist and like my best friend....fuck

thats all to update for now

fagpies

Woop

2005-01-01T07:52:13Z

man, worked 24 hours in 3 days...thats a record for me...

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!!!

I spent mine at the restraunt and watched the ball drop on one of the plasma screens at the restraunt, lol...I didnt get out of work until 1...9 fucking hours I worked.

oh well

im bored out of my mind and im going to watch dodgeball after I finish updating this thing

I made alot of money and stuff but ok....going to go watch dodgeball now, bye

Somewhat of a good day

2004-12-29T20:37:50Z

Well, it started out with me waking up at 8:30 and my dad yelling at me to get out of bed...sounds like a damn school day

After that I had my LAST INCAR today...so I am going to go get my lisence in a week or 4...Then after that I came home and found out that my cell phone was activated

I call him Celly^^*hugs celly*

Bad thing about today is me and my mom got into a fight and she slapped me 3 times so smacked her back in the face and my whole family is treating me like I am the worst person in the world...oh well, I really dont care...it just means more people can leave me in my room

Today isnt so bad right now, I like my ipod alot, and I really havent been playing guitar lately...taking a small break...I have nothing to learn XD...

I found a new song by slipknot I love...Vermilion and Vermilion part 2

I am acctually going to learn that now :D..hip hip horray

maybe my family will start to hate me and cast me from their lives...that would be cool....not really

But im glad everyone else is having a fine day, its like 40 degrees

HAHA

2004-12-27T06:57:42Z

this worked out awesome...now that no one likes me, I can go back to being anti social and staying in my room talking to brian all the time...life doesnt get much better then this

yep yep you can all go have your fun and do your thing...

sooooo you can all suck my dick^^

just kidding...no one wants to do that....ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

but yeah...no one likes me and im happy with that....soooooooo

I also talk to zack and kevin...and christine, and ryan, and...*looks down* Little billy...oh wait, little billy isnt so little anymore....*pop*

DONT GET FAT GET A SUBWAY

Meh...

2004-12-21T03:41:04Z

Yeah its been a while but I feel like I wanna write somewhere so here I am...writing

Meh...rumors suck, too many people are saying I want rachael just to have sex with and that isnt it because I have never in my life done that to a girl and I think that is just plain wrong. I know guys who do that and it sickend me that they even get a girlfriend. Meh, maybe people just hate me for going out with her, maybe Rachael doesnt even like me and is hinting her friends to tell me off so I dump her or something...I dont know

Life has been sort of hard with my parents running their new god damned restaraunt that they are too busy for their children (me and my sister)...its tough to be 16 alone everyday. Hopefully it will slow down, but until then ill just try to keep my head up high and think the best I can think.

Oh well I guess we just go through these times to test our weaknesses that havent yet developed in life and are deemed necessary to grow at this apparent time (yeah that was gay)

But yeah, I hope everyone is doing good because I am just fine and that isnt a strech from the truth

If ive been treating you so bad Rachael im sorry that I am and im trying to be as nice as I can be and as good a person I can be

Crashing

2004-07-11T15:51:31Z

Latly my life has been sort of going downward in a spiral. Just continues to get worst and worst with everything that im doing to stay happy and appear to be happy from everyone...which is why I dont understand why im writing here, but I will anyway

My father a couple of nights told me to go to hell, now many of you may not think thats so bad, but my father is someone I look up too and love and for someone like that to tell you to go to hell...well its a big deal. Both of my parents say they're fed up with my shit and they are tired with dealing with me, my mother said ive changed, and my father doesnt have the same respect for me that he used to...my relationship with them is going down the drain

I know people think I have a good life, better then most...but really I Dont, ive got my problems I dont tell anyone..and I guess I just cant stand for everyone saying I have a good life so im updating to inform my friends of my problems...selfish, yes, bitching...yes

I wake up every morning and I feel as if im overdosing on medication to keep me concentrated on school and to stop me from falling asleep because my medicine is powerful enough to knock me out. Every morning I wake up and take 5 pills...I dunno about anyone else, but 5 pills is alot for me

My headaches wont go away, they are like a sign to tell me to stop hanging out with people and to stop exercising. I was at Hannahs party last night and I was really having fun until I started getting a horrible cough. I used to have a bad cough and I would get a sharp pain in the left side of my head which is what happened yesterday.

im starting to love darkness which people say is a bad thing. I was with brittany, sam, zack, and richie at FNS and me and Brittany were upstairs and I was looking over the railing...She asked me what was wrong, and I said to her "I wish I could fly...it would be so amazing to just be able to fly." She said she always thought that too and it wasnt good for me to be thinking that.

After my adderall, I just havent been the same with anyone or my parents...its like my parents think I changed because of medicine, they think ive become this mean person who thinks of no one but myself. My father is starting to hate the way I dress, which I really dont care but it just bothers me a little because he used to not care at all...

Thats my rant...Its all bitching and nonesense about things wrong in my life, and it may not seem dark to anyone, but this is the hell that is my life, this is the hell I live with everyday...this is MY hell, and no one else feels my hell...except me

First time and the last time

2004-06-20T05:48:05Z

Well, personally im writing to describe my feelings...Things really havent been going well for me latly, not saying that to look for pity or sympathy, just saying I havent been able to do anything and have been grounded this summer. I start summer school this monday and I dont get computer priveleges...some people might like that. But nor do I get friend priveleges during the 6 weeks im at summer school.

Basically this post is saying...it was nice knowing all of you and I wont be seen for the next 6 weeks...unless you probably see me at a grocery store or something.

anyway...besides my life

I have been told frequently abot lifes and about how bad some peoples are...well I know of one persons life that is worst then anyone I know...

When people are born into their lives, unfourtionatly they cannot choose what life they are given. Some gave good lives and enjoy it, some have bad lives and enjoy it, some have good lives and hate it, and some have bad lives and hate it. I dont know what point I am trying to prove here but when someone has a bad life, they could still be happy.

take me for example. My life is a great life, I admit it. Life is really really good for me. But I hate my life, I hate it. But never have I said that my life sucks because it doesnt, no one has ever seen me write or heard me say life sucks, maybe in a joke or something. I have never proven my point to anyone that just because of the luxeries you have around you are good, that doesnt mean you will be happy. I know of some people who have no priveleges at all and constantly get yelled at and are never respected but still get up everyday and are happy for everyone.

Lives I think are about 90% of what you make of it and 10% of the people that influence it. Most people make their lives out to be the worst lives in the world, I think I may do that at times, sorry if I do but others who complain and bitch about their lifes...stop the next time you do and take a look around you of what YOU have and what OTHERS dont have.

I fit in that catagory but I dont bitch about my life and neither do most of my friends, who happen to be all the people that have some of the worst lives but still continue to get up and be happy for everyone else and are still happy with themselves...

I have been told before my opinions and outlooks suck...so those who comment, say whatever you want. It wont bother me at all...

Life is how it is...Live with it and find a way to deal with it

That is what all my friends do...everyday
you guys are all the best
Friends forever

well damn

2004-06-16T04:29:51Z

forget it, I was gonna update about my life...but HAHAHHAHAHA....no

I guess I dont feel like filling out this blank page with my thoughts or outlooks on life..I think...but technically I am typing an outlook right now

im a fuckin hypocrite (SPELLING).....

FUCK FUCKETY FUCK FUCK FUCK
R4PE R4D4M!!!
ANAL COCK OFF
SEXUALITY IS FUN
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A BITCH WHEN...
MAIMING PEOPLE IS COOL
DONT DO PEOPLE...DO DRUGS
DONT GET FAT...GET A SUBWAY
DONT DODGE CARS THEY WILL DODGE YOU
BUTTSEX IS FOR N00BS
DICKCREAM IS....WELL...nevermind
CONGRESS BLOWS
STRIDEX PADS...its like I had a period

ryoushin @ 2004-06-04T23:23:00

2004-06-05T03:24:04Z

poop

Observations ive heard

2004-05-22T05:54:48Z

iv heard from many people that I am being completly anti social and non-existent to all. Well I do have my reasons for doing so, and its not because I am obsessed with a game called Ragnarok which everyone seems to think so.

I was put on a medicine called Adderall(alot of people know) and well recently I have had mental breakdowns and crying spells with headaches from withdrawl pains so painful I couldnt walk straight. This medicine made me think that the things I once thought were funny...made them irritating. I hate ruining other peoples times so I am currently, until I can get my head together, completly cutting myself off from society. Sometimes not on purpose but I dont like being around people if I cant be cheerful.

I dont think anyone should miss me because they still have others to hang out with, and eachother. im sorry to all that do miss me, but I dont want people to see me in this shape.

so yeah...to thoes again im sorry but this is why I am being the way I am. Not that I hate any of you, but once my mind settles down, possibly over summer, then I will start hanging out with more people again.

Paul out..I think

I think its time I posted on some shit

2004-04-19T08:34:55Z

its been a while since ive written in this thing. Guess ill pick up the ol pace and dust off the LJ and write for once.

One friend I must give this post out to is Ryan. Man, im not going to say I understand everything and I understand that your feeling bad, but most of all im not going to say I KNOW and I have FELT what your going through. No one has, we all go through different things. Anyone who says they have gone through the same thing someone else has...is a liar.

You are feeling down lately, bleh I wish I could do more. Sitting and watching suffering going on is the least of my plans that I have in life. Talk to me more, you know you can trust me and I know I can trust me. I do thank god Hannah has been here all this time though. People dont give her enough credit for sticking by you and helping you out, especially for everything she does. Like a normal nice person, she gives rides and helps and helps and gives, yet even though she never gets thanks from 99.9% of us, she enjoys doing it.

Now something different, my rant about life. When we come down, I believe we choose to do what we are doing right now, we choose where were gonna go, what paths are chosen for us, by us. No one else sets thoes for us and no one else makes us choose something. Although you could always have the greatest of friends and the greatest of lovers someone could ask for. BUT the ONE single thing everyone neglects the most is there most trusty person ever.
HE is your Friend, he is your enemy. does anyone know what im talking about? Post your reply, I wanna see what people say to that question

Ryan, I dont wanna sound harsh, but tough it out. We are all behind you and were all here to help you. Your doing a really good job of toughing it out so far, just dont slow down the pace. Going to a doctor is dumb I think. They dont help you, they dont help me at least. To sit there and tell a person what problems your having is just stupid. Doctors arent any different then your friends, THERE ALL HUMAN. I am the type of person to sit and think about my problem. You seem to be the same way, only different
Dark you are yes, but purly gothic IMHO (In My Humble Opinion) you are not (god im yoda...) Truly gothic people view EVERYTHING pointless and nothing gives life meaning and nothing could give life meaning. Well, me and you prooved that people give life meaning. Everyone was sent down here and every person you see walking beside you, as you might not know it, every person teaches you something, every person...Goth, Prep, Druggie, Dumbass. THEY all teach you something about life and they all teach you a lesson, some more valuable then others.

I am a very good friend of yours, and I dont wanna stop being and I wont stop being. Just remember, even if you go to a dark place for eternity to never return, we will always find you. We as in your friends as listed
Nate, Hannah, Allison, Amber, Ben, Mary, Laura Leighty(spelling, sorry >_<), DJ, Zack, and Sam.

There is one VERY important person I left out of that list of friends, if anyone guesses it they are amazingly smart, post in comments and ill post answer in next post.

No matter where you go, no matter how long your gone, we will always find you, and we will always....be in touch, as souls have bonded, as souls have formed, stay together no matter how far you go. In true friendship, time nor distance has no means, merely the people around you and how much they care about you are the meaning of life.

no matter the contradiction, the meaning of life is to live, and is to care about the ones around you, because with out them, you cant exist

Keep toughing out life ryan, your doing good.

People...Grow up

2004-03-03T01:23:31Z

Look now...I am going out with sam. You people need to accept the fact. This isnt directed towards anyone who I know, and you know I know that you are fine with it...you know who you are if your ok with it.

Seriously, this whole richie thing. Just one thing to Sam, ignore him, rumors are rumors. I am not taking action....you can hate him and everything, but please dont carry it on. Please...do it for me? :)

Now as for Richie. I have nothing against you. I really dont understand this whole rumor stuff. If you think or feel that ive stolen Sam from you, then im sorry. From what I have done, I have put no restrictions on Sam too you or anyone else at that matter. You have had free time to hang out with her and go places with her.

Now I am not pointing fingers at anything or anyone, just people, please dont make this into another huge fight thingey. I dont know who started these rumors, and personally I dont care. If I dont care then no one else should care because these rumors are ABOUT ME. Thats all, you can care if you wish 2, sam I think you have a good reason to just because richie was your friend, but I just dont want this to turn into a big deal, please. I beg people not 2, I am happy for once in weeks, I want it to stay this way.

I love sam alot...alot alot alot alot. I hope shes happy, acctually I know shes happy. but yeah

on another note. I am going to start walking home from school. I walked home with zack, although I had my headphones on and couldnt hear anything around me. It was so peaceful (Ryan moment^_~) I loved it so much.

Thats all....for now

WHA UP!!!

2004-03-02T05:12:23Z

Yeah...sorry all I have been to lazy to update this damned thing...Blame it on my fingers for not typing this SOONER!!!!

I have came up with a new outcome of life (Yes, THATS RIGHT, OUT CUM!!!!) And I have developed a new quote.

"Life is baes on actions...Only influenced by words"

I dunno...maybe its the stupidest thing someone has ever read, but I think it was a pretty solid quote.

Life has gotten much better for everyone. It is starting to warm up and everyone is becoming more happier by the minute. I am really happy that everyone is happy

I do know one thing, I LOVE MY SAM!!!!!!!!!! (shes hot^^)

alright, im done, thats all for now...Remember sam, I LOVE YOU!!

...

2004-02-26T23:32:46Z

yeah....just updating, havent updated in a while...

Lifes been sorta up and down latly...I have sam and thats a definate plus...a HUGE PLUS. blah...letting some steam off?

Arguing with my parents alot and shit like that....well umm...bye

I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!

2004-02-18T03:37:30Z

I GOT A NEW G/F!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG....someone I can hold, someone I can care for... I am so happy right now, no one knows my feelings right now^^

IM JUST SO DAMN HAPPY OMG!!!!

oh yeah....my new g/f is SAM....I love her!!!!

I am going to be so happy for the next.....forever. hehe. On a different note, today kicked arse for me. I have some friends over for DDR and we all just played and got rid of our shit from all weekend, yeah...shit like that^_^.

on a different note. Bock, I hope yourt feeling ok, sorry everyone was such an ass to you, I wasnt and if you need to talk ill be here. I feel really bad right now, im really sorry.

thats all for update today...BYE ALLL *happyness*

...

2004-02-16T23:27:00Z

yeah, I usually hate expressing my emotions...but I dont care anymore. I am feeling worthless to all. I cant really make anyone happy...im sory of starting to lose the feeling of having a meaning or a purpose in life.

I hope ill get over it, but I find no one I can make happy, and everyone who I used to, dont see me as even a speck in their eye. life sucks right now, at least for me.

I hope life is good for all of you, because I dont want anyone to end up like me

umm...yeah bye

be happy....
everyone

you wanna know my mood

2004-02-13T20:35:19Z

everyone wants to know my mood...even if you dont...well here it is...

FUCK YOU!!!!!!

yeah...thats it, today fucking sucks, Valentines day sucks, I cant even spell that right.

YEAH...LIFES THE BEST...fuck you

Life....the meaning of it all

2004-02-13T05:28:57Z

My opinions on life and how I think it is taken in and out...my opinions

First I want to ask the question: If life has no purpose, what gives life a purpose for us to live.

How do we live if life has no purpose. I want whoever is reading this to think about what gives life purpose, I will accept your opinion no matter what it may be. Life is only lived because of other people around you. The only reason you would try so hard at life is because other people around you give you a reason to try so hard.

Think about this now, What if I told you that everyone that you one day will love and care about, will one day be dead. Sad way to look at it, but it is true, true to all. Without thoes people, you have no incentive to live, none what so ever. We all live until we die, and when we die, is when we have experenced all we need to.

It doesnt matter when we died, what age, or where. What matters is what you tought others by your living, and what you tought them by dying. You dye for a reason, not for a meaningless sacrafice. Live, become wise, then pass on your wisdom to others who will be there to spread your wisdom within themselves.

How would you feel losing a close friend to suicide?
Would you be sad, or would be angered that he was weak

How would you feel losing a close friend to a disease?
Would you feel sad, or angered about having that friend stolen from you

Despite the 2, they both teach you something, sure your sad, your always going to be sad with death. But both situations made you look at something differently, and both had a different outcome.

Just stating my opinion on stuff, do not contradict my words, you can post your opinions or tell me what you think, I will be glad to hear them. I want to hear different opinions. I dont want people saying I am wrong because this is my opinion

Story...dont read this >_

2004-02-11T11:49:02Z

Wandering the streets of the city people called, Hayate. I walked the long, ten foot wide, white bricked street that lead up to crowds of people huddled around stores. The street ran from behind me at the south exit, which was guarded by two guards always, went from the exit all the way to the middle which was shaped like a circle with a fountain in the middle of the circle.
The fountain had water spouting out of the statue in the middle of it. The statue was a man holding a samurai sword dressed in samurai armor. The statue was my father, the king of this city. People huddled around coming from all four, ten foot wide streets, one from the north, south, east, and west. At the north, the very tip of the city stood the kingdom of Hayate. Its brass color gleamed and reflected light as the sun shine on it.
The complex structure of the huge castle showed to the people looking at it that this castle was built very well. This city was the main port city of Japan. It kept the imports and out ports going smoothly, gave homeless people houses, and gave the jobless jobs. This city kept Japan alive. If someone were to come and take this city from my father, that person could rule all of Japan, from this one city.
Around the south street I walked along were houses and shops with smoke coming from the top of the houses. Most houses were white and light gray; all built of brick to look like it was an old Japanese cultural city. All the walls kept everything inside the city that was inside of it already. 20 foot walls stood between Hayate and its enemies. Spiked ran along the walls until they stopped only for the four exits at each part of town.
The gates, as well as the walls were made of a special metal that was nearly unbreakable. The metal was forged by me. My name is Ryushin Sakamoto. Fighting along side my father and his kingdom was my duty and loyalty to the city, and the country. My sister’s name is Asuka Sakamoto. She, as well as I, also stands beside father to help protect the city while I take an absence.
People would pass me and greet me with: “good morning.” or “Hello, good day sir.” All were good people of the city, as well as my father and everyone who ruled under him. He gave all people in this city an equal chance to succeed at living in Hayate. The people would stair at me weird because of my attire. I wore black, baggy ninja pants with a smooth, shiny material that gleamed in the light as I walked.
They came down and tucked into my leather boots, which had a strong metal trim around all of the seams that lined the trim of the boots. Shin guards covered all of my legs from the top of the boot, upper ankle, to the lower part of my kneecap. They were all black as well, but in the middle of them there was a silver plate of steel that protected my legs from stab wounds.
Leather held up my pants, a strong, durable leather belt held up my pants which also had six weapons attached to it. The belt held two swords, a pair of twin blades, a knife, and an assassin mini katana blade on the back of my belt. The two swords at my left side were both hung above each other. One was a custom blade that had the form of a scimitar. Long, curved blade that extended at the end was uniquely made. The sword had a ridged edge at the top that came down one fourth of the blade. After that it curved inward a little and that top part was sharp. The bottom of the blade was indented about half an inch seven times down the blade from the hand guard, down about 3 inches.
The blade was creased in the middle and curved with the extending blade that bent upwards. The upper side of the crease was the color of crimson and the lower color was a navy blue. Right above that sword was a medium sized katana that was a cobalt blue and streaked when swung at a certain speed. The golden colored leather sheath for a regular hunting knife was right on the other side of my belt then the sword. Both twin blades were shaped like flames and had streams of red metal sticking out of the sheaths at the indentions of the sheaths.
Both twin blades were set up parallel from each other on my belt. One of them lay between the two swords on my left side. The other was hooked onto my sheath of my hunting knife that was exactly at the opposite end of the other twin blade. Both swords both curved inward towards my belt so when drawn they I wouldn’t have to switch them in my hands. Under the twin blade and in between my two swords on my left side was a pack that I carry on my side that I put stones and metals in to enchant and forge weapons.
Draped at the back of my belt was a beige cloth that hung down from my belt to the lower part of my shins. It wrapped around my legs and stopped at the front of my legs, covering a little bit of my legs. It is made of strong leathers that were stitched and woven three times to triple the strength.
Bare flesh and skin covered my lower abdomen until a black drape that was tight along my chest, went from my sternum, wrapped all around my upper body and went under all my equipment. The only piece of clothing that covered my lower abdomen was a think piece of leather that was cut to be straight down the front and back of my upper body. The drape started at the top and was worn over my head, under everything except the black cloth.
As the drape went down it reseeded until the end of it hung to my knees and it was at a point. The outer part was outlined with dark blue, the inner with black. A special Japanese character was written in red right in the middle of the cloth. It showed I was a defender of Hayate. Above all of that was a grayish, drape that went over my upper body and covered my upper body from the black drape to my neck. It had a clasp in the middle so the cloth would never fall off. Strapped on my back with black, leather strips wrapping around my chest held two katanas on my back. Both were diverted to a 75 degree angle with the tips of the blades facing upward.
One of the swords positioned above the other allowed quick drawing from either sword. Both were normal, stainless steal katanas, but one was black and the other was white. Over both of the swords was a red colored pack that looked like a normal backpack, but it had a different quality to it. This pack could hold unlimited capacity. Anything could fit in the pack except for items bigger then it.
On my right shoulder was metallic red armor. The color was faded and the armor had lost its shine in the sun. The armor was laired ten times with thin, but strong layers of metal. It started tight around my shoulder but then became looser until it ended at my elbow. The black drape that covered my upper body connected with this on my arm. It covered everything on my arm and came into a glove on my hand.
The glove covered all of my hand except for two to three inches on the bottom of my fingers and a little circle of my palm. Gray metal covered the top of my arm from the forearm down to the top of my hand, stopping at my knuckles. It was three to four inches wide and protected my hand from being cut off. An armband that was black, this time the writing on my other cloth was opposite colors. The writing was red and the armband was black. The armband went right where the metal guard started and helped hold it on my right arm. White tape went from the bottom of my armband all the way to my wrist to reinforce the guard in my arm.
What made my look so unique was the fact that my whole left arm had no armor on it. A tight, white cloth covered my arm from my forearm to my hand. It had various drapes of dark blue cloth hung off of it. Outlining the muscle pattern in my left arm was all the cloth did.
My hair was a light bluish, purple and was as long as my lower back. It was tied up in a pony tail with a piece of thin wood and tape tied around the wood, to help my hair stick up in a ponytail. My bangs were long and came down to the top of my cheek bones. Sideburns started rough but faintly grew thinner as the hair went down my chin with no mustache.
I walked on the northern street towards the castle of Hayate. When I reached the bottom of the long, wide staircase, I stopped and took off the cloth that covered my upper body. I took the backpack off and assorted my weapons on the ground to the left of me. Out of the pack I pulled a long, dark blue overcoat and laid it on the ground to the right of me. Taking all my weapons and packing them into my pack, I put the pack on my back while I threw the heavy, dark blue overcoat around me and clasped it right at the neck.
I walked up the long staircase and confronted the two guards at the huge, golden door to the castle. They look at me with a stern look and saw the symbol on my chest. They both quickly turned to open both doors for me. I walked into the castle looking forward at the dark gray brick walls and the shiny red carpet leading from the entrance, to the king’s chair that sat upon a pedestal with a huge, red chair.
The king was a thin, gray bearded man. He saw me coming to him and sat upright in his chair. I put my arms straight out to he right and swept them to the left to swing my overcoat to the side so I did not step on it. I put one knee on the ground and faced my head downward at the red carpet. My father motioned me to stand up, so I jumped up to two feet standing relaxing in front of him.
“Father, I have come to tell you that I am to set out upon a journey.” I said with a low, stern voice.
“What has brought you to go on this so called ‘journey?’” He asked me, popping a grape in his mouth from the tray next to him.
“I have yet to master my style and to find peace with in myself to become a better person to all.”
“Very well, if that be the case, then I shall put your sister in charge of defending Hayate under me for now.”
“Yes father, I will be back in a year.”
“Go then, I will not miss you.”
I stood up and stared at the king, then turned and left the castle. Looking ahead I started walking towards the south gate to Hayate. Not even saying goodbye to my sister, I rushed through the hundreds of people at the markets to get to the south gate. I got there and took a step out, looking back at the castle.
“I will return.” I said as the gates closed and the guards stood in front of them.
Starting towards the western coast to find a boat, I was going to South Korea. I stopped and took out a book from my pack. The book was old and ancient. It looked as if it was going to fall apart. I opened the book and began reading up on a rare breed of monks that were in deep mountains of Korea.
Two weeks had passed after spending long nights in the forest catching and cooking my meals, avoiding the pubs, and running from the monsters that looked to hunt me just for food of their own, I had made it to the western coast of Japan. I saw large ships that were run by paddles and wind sails. As one ship was leaving, I ran towards it and jumped off the ending dock and latched onto the ships railing towards the back of the ship.
I jumped into the ship and sat down, observing the scenery of the sky, the water, and the land, that had soon turned into a dot, then disappeared of my sight. The day was warm and sunny; I was getting a tan already from sitting for 20 minutes in the sun. When night came, I had to sneak into cabins inside of the ships hull. This ship wasn't a passenger ship, but only a cargo ship. I would sleep in the cargo bay when night came.
After a month and a half of sailing and sailing, the captain finally yelled: “LAND HO!” I knew that it was time to get off. The men came down the ship stairs to the cargo bay; I hid behind the door and snuck out while their backs were turned. I jumped off the right side of the ship landing on the dock without a sound made from my feet. My overcoat flailed as the wind blew from the currents of the ocean and from the other ships coming in from their long journeys across the sea.
I took the book out once again and began to spot out where these monks lived. I was at the most southern tip of Korea and the mountains I was seeking were farther north. It was almost nightfall when I reached the shore so I decided to travel a little ways and stop in a forest to rest. I set up a fire in front of me and took my book out again and began reading it. As I was reading the book, I heard a sound come from behind me. I quickly put the book back in my pack and jumped to my feet to look what had made the noise.
After standing stern for five minutes, something jumped out at me. It looked as if a huge ball of fire was jumping at me. I quickly dodged to the left side and a tiger covered with fire landed gracefully and turned to face me. He roared as fire came out of his mouth, it was a fire tiger, one I had never seen before.
I knew I couldn’t fight this thing without an elemental weapon, preferably a water weapon. I turned and began to dash through the forest dodging low branches and stubs in the ground. Hearing fire engulf the forest behind me, I dare not look back, but continue forward to try and lose this beast to the night. After running for two hours, I stopped and looked back to find nothing was following me.
Panting a little and starting forward again, I fell over on the grassy ground from exhaustion and began to sleep. The morning came and the grass was wet from a light rain. Staring forward, I could not believe what I was seeing, the mountains I was seeking, were right in front of my eyes. I preceded with caution towards the mountains, worried id meet an ice demon or something.
The mountains were warm, with for some reason, were covered in snow. Just wondering of the climate scenery, I walked forward and up a little to find the monks, I had been searching for. These mountains were beautiful with a fresh mist of water in the air, and a cool breeze blew in every one in a while. After traveling around for about three hours, I came across an old temple, it look as if it was a Japanese temple, but different.
This temple was made of stone for the base of it, and was taller then a Japanese temple. The roof was made with metal shingles and curved downward to be eventually flattened at the sides. There was a dragon on the top of the temple to represent power and fear. I looked around frequently as I approached the large temple, of the hidden monks I seeked for.
When I set one foot onto the bottom temple step, a flying human came out of no where and directed a kick to my head. I quickly dodged and while avoiding the kick spinning around and wheel kicking the man in the back, he was knocked to his knee, but landed upright. As he turned, I saw his face, he was dressed in an all orange tunic/robe thing. The man looked as if he was nice, then he spoke.
"Who are you to set foot upon the sacred lands of the sacred monks!" He said sternly
"My name is Ryushin Sakamoto." I said while flailing my overcoat to the side and bowing to the man.
"I am Hiten Ryu of the mystic japanese monks." He said while motioning me to rise.
I looked at his face, he was not joking around. I didnt think this was sacred lands to them, I hope I have not insulted them.
"I am sorry for intruding onto your lands, please forgive me, I have come to train with all of you."
"First, before we begin, I must test your strength to see if your are worthy."
We both faced off at eachother and began to fight. He ran at me while drawing a concealed weapon at his side. He swung his sword around and in the flash of light, swung it an inch from my head. Quickly ducking and countering with a kick at his gut. I thought the battle was over until I saw my foot in the left hand of him and his sword pointed outward to his right with his right hand. Grabbing tightly, he swung me around and threw me into a tree, smashing it and knocking it over onto me.
As Hiten approached me, I was gone, out of the rubble. The monk quickly turned around, but as he did, I had my custom, crimson blade's tip pointed at his neck. He swallowed and a drip of sweat dripped off his chin. Hiten grabbed my sword by the blade. I saw blood dripping off his hand, I tried to pull back, but it was no use. Hitens eyes were the color of blood red. He took my sword and kicked my right wrist and flipped the sword towards him and grabbed it and swung it towards my head, stopping one inch from my neck.
"The battle is over." Hiten said while panting
"How.....how did you..." I was speechless
"Secret. I do invite you to come train, you have proved your worth."
"Thank-Thank you."
I followed Hiten into the monks palace and began to train, working on meditation, inner strength, and new styles of fighting. The monks were so wise in ways of how they tought everything, it was all so clear.
After one year, I was finished with training, finished with finding strength within my soul. I was back on my way to Japan, finally.
"Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom with me wise monks. I have learned alot from you."
"Your welcome back, we to, have learned many different ways of fighting, we thank you in return."
After that, I began questing towards the south coast of South korea. I got half way to the south coast when it began to get dark, and I was already tired. I built a fire and watch the stars above my head, they were all beautiful and inspired me to live. After about two hours of star watching, I fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning still leaning on the tree I fel asleep on the past night. The forest was bright and the leaves reflected with water dripping off onto my head. I jumped up and began making my way to a pub, that was a little ways out of the forest. I reached the small city on the south coast of Korea. I stopped in to have a drink. Walking into the place wasnt so good, alot of men looked at my attire and snorted as I walked to sit down at a table.
I sat down at a table in the back close to the door. One man with a staff wearing dirty rags walked up to me and he was pretty drunk as you could tell.
"HEY, What are you doin in my pub...." The man said while turning and stumbling on every word.
"I am sorry, but I do not think that this whole place is yours." I said back to him sternly
The man started yelling at me and threatened to kill me. I continued sitting and I put left arm on the table. The man was for some reason insulted and whipped his staff from the ground and smacked me across the face. I fell over and blood trickled down the right side of my mouth. I stood up and was held by two other men related with this one.
"Now for insultin me, yur gunno have ta die...I will kill you right now."
More focused on the background then on this mand threat, everyone stared at us except for a girl, she was sitting near the counter and was dressed in all black, she didnt seem to care, but I sensed a ferious feeling, like something was going to happen.

im sorry, but I MUST let this out

2004-02-05T22:33:18Z

Paul! I love you! I will do anything to make this work out! I don't care what anyone else thinks, you've changed. I love you. I feel like I'm losing you anyway.. don't leave! Please keep trying! We all feel really shitty right now, but i love you! I want to make this work! Please don't leave! Don't give up yet! It can be good, I'll make it good! Just try...

This was posted by you...Danielle. You said this, all of this, reassured me that this relationship was going to work forever. I see how far that went...Robin, I have nothing against you at all, this is towards Danielle. Why did you get my hopes up...Why did you make me work so hard...why did you make me give you my soul for everything just to end, and it crushed me.

I know it probably hurt you a little bit, but it crushed me, not like anything you could imagine. This is not some dramatic thing where I am saying I have incredable strength...because I dont. I just dont know why a good hearted person like you would make me work so hard after something you knew I was sorry for doing, just to break up with me for an excuse such as "I couldnt take the pain"

I am sorry Danielle, but that is weak...If you want to be strong, you would be willing to take the pain for me because you loved me. You did say that even though we were broken up, that you would still love me the same, but you dont, and I knew you wouldnt.

I am sorry if this hurts you, but I need to get my emotions out because they have been kept in. Like I did say before...and you did call me immature for saying this...but it isnt immature.

If you ever try to come back to me, I wont take you back. I dont think you will ever try to come back to me, but if you do, I wont accept you being my g/f anymore. That isnt an immature thing...thats tough to do, alot of guys would go straight back, but I find no point in trying to make another relationship work

I doubt you have pain still...but it still hurts to think of the first time when I asked you out...I get a feeling I hate. My feelings might change..I dont know

Well, think im an ass hole, hate me, think im a jerk, it is your choice, I just needed to get my say in this to myself. I didnt post this as vengence or hate, just to clean up my feelings so it will help me move on. I do hope you and Robin do have a happy relationship.

Thats all for my post...going to FNS again with Ryan this time, im going to play DDR and sort out everything...I feel so much better letting this out, even if no one reads this, I dont care, I just feel better inside

THE NEW BOARDS

2004-02-04T20:58:14Z

Yeah...as all of you know, the other boards sucked because of 3 reasons
1) Allisons name isnt Hotaru anymore..its Asuka
2) Shes NOT in japanland anymore
3) NO ONE VISITED THEM!!!!

So I am trying hard and putting effort into making new boards. The new boards name is "T3H N0rM" If your intrested in joining, I made alot of modifications to it, the URL to the site is http://pub99.ezboard.com/bt3hn0rm I hope youll go there and enjoy it

ON ANOTHER NOTE...Today I just dont feel like being around anyone...sorry if I seem annoyed by everyone. Im not depressed or anything...just in a "blah" mood me and Mikko decided to call it.

I might be going to FNS today and just hang by myself since there is NO ONE there ever on weekdays..so yeah

Im probably going to take a break from Ragnarok and work on Halo with Ryan and other stuff like that.

blah blah blah blah more krap...I will be around and stuff...so talk to me online or call me...im always bored (330-656-5659) well...to all, goodbye for now...

blah

2004-02-03T21:16:44Z

Yeah, sorry I havent updated in the last couple of days...been a bit busy. I had ALOT of homework yesterday, I got it all done and had a really bad headache. I was tired so I went to bed at 9:30. After that I woke up at 3:30 in the morning and watched star wars episode II for like an hour and went to sleep again. When dad went to wake me up for school, I wouldnt wake up so he let me stay home today and I have some more HW I gotta go...goodie

Today kinda sucks. Parents were yelling at me because I spent to much money on their credit card bill...it was my fault but still. I asked my mom why she even had a son to begin with, and all she said was because she loved me. Dont really buy that...Oh well...thats life sometimes. Started a swordsman on Ragnarok and he sucks right now but I hope he will get better in the future, if not ill delete him >_<

My wizard sucks alot...Dont know why hes so bad, I tried to make him good but he turned out like shit so im thinking of just quitting Ragnarok for a while because my characters suck and im kind of getting bored of the game. Me and ryan found out something new about Ragnarok so were gonna work towards that and hopefully accomplish besting Halo in legendary in under 3 hours, then under 2 hours.

THATS GOING TO BE HARD AS HELL...on another note, I didnt see anyone today >_<. Im gonna go in early tomorrow and probably work on HW in the library, if not I will be showing what part of the story me and ryan are making ive got so far...

Well, im gonna go do HW, work on my story, and play ragnarok..c you guys and gals later...I guess